So I made that post about my ins and outs for the next half of the year, and then immediately slid into a vicious cycle of panic attacks and depressive episodes so bad that I was not really able to do anything at all.
I want to get out of this, but it feels like I am trapped in a pit of slippery mud and climbing up even a few centimeters takes an enormous amount of effort and no guarantee that I won't slide back down again.
As I think hard about the ups and find none, I realise perhaps a better title for this post would be "downs and more downs".
I do have a comfortable life, a group of close friends, and my parents are in good health. These are all things that aren't granted (especially not in today's World) and that are to be appreciated.
I guess then right now my ups are whenever I get to connect with friends and family or enjoy a cold drink on the balcony.
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© Melyanna. CC BY-SA 4.0.
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